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"Trust me, it's better this way." — The Rabbi
Good·Jew·Bad·Jew.com
A Site Only a Mother Could Love
Nine months your mother carried you. You can give this ninety seconds.
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Shalom, friend. Sit. Eat something.
You look thin. Are you eating?
So you want to know how Jewish you are? Oy, such a question. Rabbi Schmuel is here to judge — lovingly, of course — with a little help from his mother, his father, his bubbe, and his zayde, all of whom have opinions.
Answer honestly. They know. They always know.
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Section 1 — The Holidays
Which holidays did you actually observe this year?
Click all that apply. No cheating — the rabbi can see.
Answer all the questions. No skipping, kiddo.
Rabbi Schmuel
Jew Rating™
0/1000
The jury is still out.
Your Official Jew Rating Report
Issued by the Council of Concerned Mothers, Inc.
Final Score
0/1000
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A Few Unsolicited Suggestions:
✡ Got a Better Question?
Help us build the ultimate Jew-rating machine. Submit a new question for possible use on the site — and your score gets adjusted on this very report.
+50 points if it's genuinely new and interesting.
−15 points if we already have it (nice try, bubbeleh).
✡ Your mother will brag.
Share the link to this site and pick up +20 points. Look, it's better than nothing.
~ Rabbi Schmuel, on behalf of your entire family ~